Passion is a funny thing. I believe every passion inside you was initially sparked by childhood experiences. At least, everything I have ever been truly passionate about I can link back to a childhood memory.
They can stay dormant inside you for years until something happens and suddenly passion fills your whole head and your whole heart.
You feel that without it you may just stop breathing. You can't see further than achieving what your passion desires. You put all that you are into fulfilling the dream without considering the consequences. Often at your own expense. And more than likely at the expense of your friends and family.
And then without warning it can just disappear again. And sometimes that can feel like your whole being has been ripped apart. One moment you were secure and happy riding on the wave of adrenalin and excitement and the next the wave has crashed and buried you in the sand.
I can't explain why it disappears. Not to myself and certainly not to anyone else.
I have found that people see strength in passionate people. When someone wants something so badly they tend to lead the way. They barge through the crowds making a comfortable pathway for those following to tread.
Your not doing it for the benefit of the crowds. Or for those following. You're not even doing it for the benefit of yourself. You're just doing it because you have too. Because there is nothing else.
You meet so many people along the way.
Those who are there when you are just beginning. These people are the ones that support you. The ones that encourage you to follow your passion and your desire. They are also the ones that get left behind and forgotten.
Then there are the people you meet when you come to your first big obstacle. They are the ones that don't ever get to meet the real you. They see your pain. Sometimes one may even extend a hand to help. But you hardly see them. All you see is the hurdle in front of you. You just end up using these people. And they get left behind.
Then there are the people you meet along the way who you need. You accept that without them you can't progress. They end up being the followers. Sometimes helping to push you along but often you have to pull them along. They see the strength in you. They need you. If they make it to the end with you then they are often caught up in the destruction as your wave crashes.
Then there are those who meet you when you are at the height of your passion. When you are riding on the crest of the wave. These people see you at your 'strongest'. They believe beyond any doubt that you will achieve your goal. But its at this time that you realise there's not much left in you. You are growing tired. You are starting to realise how far you have come and how far it is to fall and that anyone close to you will also fall. But everyone just stands on the side lines applauding your efforts. And you keep going. You see these people but eventually they also get left behind.
And then finally there are those who are waiting for you at the end. Those who never saw the starting block. Never saw the pain and frustration. But they are there when there is no more ocean to travel. When the white horses take their last bow and crash to the shore.
It's here and only here you can rest. Now you are safe on dry land you can begin to look back out to the vast expanse of sea you have traveled and marvel at it's beauty and appreciate it's power. From the shore it looks so calm and gentle and you begin to realise that the passion hasn't disappeared. It hasn't left you. The tides will always come in and out. The waves will always continue to beat the shore.
While you were just battling with your one wave...you were in fact conquering the whole ocean.
