Love Fist Gig - September, 1984

I remember this gig as if it was yesterday

Back in the 80's the Hertford Corn Exchange was a great little venue for up and coming bands. With the closure of the Marquee, it was really the only place where the local music scene could thrive.

Every now and then a bigger act would grace the stage and on the 12th September 1984, rock band Love Fist! did just that.

Fresh from a world wide tour, the band played a one off gig in the UK and the Corn Exchange happened to be that venue. It was a low key event with only a couple of newspapers picking up on the story but for those that did manage to find out that Love Fist! were playing, it was certainly a night to remember.

The band were known for their crazy and over the top shows. Donning peroxide blonde hair, bandannas and bangles galore.

Rex Rockard (left) was renound for wearing tightest of spandex in the most outrageous colours. He would often take the mickey out of other bands by launching into tongue in cheek performances of 'True' by Spandau Ballet and 'Mmoney For Nothing' by Dire Straits. Ocassionally he had items thrown at him should a loyal fan of one of these other currently popular bands be present. But it certainly kept us entertained.

Love Fists fans were a motley crew.  Boy George (right) was a fanatic and made it to this particular gig.

Even the middle class and high society enjoyed the drama and passion of Love Fist.

But their biggest fan was Jimmy Saville pictured here to the right with the whole band after the gig.

Although you rarely hear of Love Fist these days - they have drifted into the music industry abys - if you speak to the great rock stars of the 1980's they will all smile and nod in recognition of one of the greatest (yet underrated) bands of the early 1980's

Oh and if you ever happen to be passing the Corn Exchange in Hertford you can still see their name engraved just below the window on the right of the main door.

My Black Folder and Me

My favourite thing in the whole world is a blackA4 ring binder. It's one of those fat ones.  It's quite battered and has torn bits where I have tried to unsuccessfully peel labels off it.  Yes it just looks like an old school file on the outside. But inside it contains everything I have been for the past 11 years and everything that has made me who I am today.

It has lots of plastic wallets in it filled with bits of torn out notebook with scribbles and doodles and pages and pages of lyrics. All on different scraps of paper. Alternating between the pages are smaller plastic wallets. Each one contains a CD... some just with a song title on it and some with CD covers. Every now and then you come accross an old photo.
This folder contains my music. All my songs from all my bands since 1998.

I am so very lucky to have so many years documented in music. Songs that have been written for me, about me and by me. Every single one has a meaning and a memory attched.

Due a Broken Heart is the first one in the fiolder. This was the song that i learn't when I was 17 for an audition with a rock guitarist. It was a bit of a prophesy song actually. Little did I know that I was singing about the exact situation I would find myself in a few years down the line. I remember skiving off my mock A Level exams to go into the studio to record this. It was the first time that I really truly realised I loved singing.



A few songs on is one called Eternity. I was just a kid but I felt like I had been living a hundred years when I sung this song. The song was actually written by my guitarist about his childhood and wanting to go back and tell himself as a little boy to not give up through the really tough times he experienced growing up. But I was singing it from my point of view and it meant something completely different to me. Even though the recording and performance is rubbish I still believe I have never to this day, put so much emotion into one song.



A year or so later (and several CDs) and there is a song called the Kosovo Song. The name speaks for itself and it was in 1999 that this was recorded in Cornwall with a management company. They had picked up on the story that I was organising a concert at Wembly Stadium and Michael Jackson was going to perform at it, Max Clifford was doing the PR... if you don't believe me then see this link http://www.prweek.com/news/100340/

Anyway, my strongest memory from this time was actually the fact that I had recorded a version of this song back in our little basement studio and it was really beautiful and passionate. And then when I re-recorded it with this company, they changed the backing and put modern sounds on it and then made me stand it their tiny singing booth for SIX HOURS solid. I was literally in tears by the end because I was so exhausted and I can hear the strain in my voice on the recording. That was my first taste of what the music industry could really be like.




To be continued...

The Shore

Passion is a funny thing. I believe every passion inside you was initially sparked by childhood experiences. At least, everything I have ever been truly passionate about I can link back to a childhood memory.

They can stay dormant inside you for years until something happens and suddenly passion fills your whole head and your whole heart.

You feel that without it you may just stop breathing. You can't see further than achieving what your passion desires. You put all that you are into fulfilling the dream without considering the consequences. Often at your own expense. And more than likely at the expense of your friends and family.

And then without warning it can just disappear again. And sometimes that can feel like your whole being has been ripped apart. One moment you were secure and happy riding on the wave of adrenalin and excitement and the next the wave has crashed and buried you in the sand.

I can't explain why it disappears. Not to myself and certainly not to anyone else.

I have found that people see strength in passionate people. When someone wants something so badly they tend to lead the way. They barge through the crowds making a comfortable pathway for those following to tread.

Your not doing it for the benefit of the crowds. Or for those following. You're not even doing it for the benefit of yourself. You're just doing it because you have too. Because there is nothing else.

You meet so many people along the way.

Those who are there when you are just beginning. These people are the ones that support you. The ones that encourage you to follow your passion and your desire. They are also the ones that get left behind and forgotten.

Then there are the people you meet when you come to your first big obstacle. They are the ones that don't ever get to meet the real you. They see your pain. Sometimes one may even extend a hand to help. But you hardly see them. All you see is the hurdle in front of you. You just end up using these people. And they get left behind.

Then there are the people you meet along the way who you need. You accept that without them you can't progress. They end up being the followers. Sometimes helping to push you along but often you have to pull them along. They see the strength in you. They need you. If they make it to the end with you then they are often caught up in the destruction as your wave crashes.

Then there are those who meet you when you are at the height of your passion. When you are riding on the crest of the wave. These people see you at your 'strongest'. They believe beyond any doubt that you will achieve your goal. But its at this time that you realise there's not much left in you. You are growing tired. You are starting to realise how far you have come and how far it is to fall and that anyone close to you will also fall. But everyone just stands on the side lines applauding your efforts. And you keep going. You see these people but eventually they also get left behind.

And then finally there are those who are waiting for you at the end. Those who never saw the starting block. Never saw the pain and frustration. But they are there when there is no more ocean to travel. When the white horses take their last bow and crash to the shore.

It's here and only here you can rest. Now you are safe on dry land you can begin to look back out to the vast expanse of sea you have traveled and marvel at it's beauty and appreciate it's power. From the shore it looks so calm and gentle and you begin to realise that the passion hasn't disappeared. It hasn't left you. The tides will always come in and out. The waves will always continue to beat the shore.

While you were just battling with your one wave...you were in fact conquering the whole ocean.

What's Right Anyway?

As part of my quest to be a better person I have designed a CD cover for another band. I am fine when designing my own stuff...but terrified of designing to a brief. However this was a favour for someone and becoming a better person sometimes requires us to get over ourselves and do what is right.

Your Thirties, The Eighties and lots of Hairspray

It is my husbands birthday today. And he is thirty. Although, as I am repetedly told, he only looks 28.

In my experience, once everyone hits thirty they all tell each other they look 28. 28 is apparently the optimum age.

Still with your feet firmly in your twenties...but able to peer over into the 30's.

We are organising.... sorry. I am organising a big party for him in September which involves lots of hairspray, lycra, loud guitar solos and cheddar cheese.

Yes... we are heading back to the 1980's.

With an array of brilliant musicians (myself included of course), we have managed to put together the most incredibly amazing set list.

And we had our first rehearsal on Sunday...and by golly gosh we are going to rock. I always knew that my lovely band were amazingly talented...but give them a CD of 80's cheese and they BLOW your mind.

.

With the addition of Rob on keys and Leon belting out the blokey tunes (plus a couple of other special guests), this band is worthy of an almighty name. Which we havent thought of yet.

I'm so very excited about it all. So excited that I spent a bit of time photoshopping my husbands face onto these little 80's figures. It suits him!

Are you coming?

Mature Stilton

I finished it. Took me about 12 hours to do but it's done. My guitarist Fred said that I had possibly drawn out the cheese a little too much... that possible 8 minutes of montage and messages to our 'fans' and slow motion clips was a little over the top...but hey. At least all the important memories are there now. Cast into 'youtube' forever. Never to be forgotten.

We all like (espeially Fred) a nice wedge of cheddar. Although I do admit that on the cheese scale it is probably a pongy, mature stilton... one that you have to wrap in three layers of cling film, put in a tuppaware box and seal with duck tape to avoid stinking the whole fridge out.

Ooooh but ya gotta love it...

Cutlery Sets, Lace & Dinner Parties

It's all about closing a door in the hope that somewhere a window will open.

We had our last gig at the weekend and I am now in the process of putting together a MONTAGE of video footage from over the past three years.

I will admit that it's tough to say goodbye. The main difference with the demise of this band is that I don't have the energy to start a new one. For the past 15 years my energy showed now bounds and I went from one band to another with ease.

Now I suppose I am just old and its all about cutlery sets, lace and dinner parties. How on earth I will make that as exciting as performing in front of several thousand people. The adrenalin, the sweat, the passion, the energy....

Yes... I am most definitely going to have think carefully about my next move if it is to compare to the highlights of being in a rock n roll band.

In the meantime, I shall enjoy making a video of the memories.

There will always be a small rock star inside my head.